Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Will Wal-Mart Trips Ever Be Normal Again?

Last night after Fazoli's(99 cent kid's meals), Kari asked me to take her to Wal-Mart to "look awound." Thinking that since I didn't actually need anything from Wal-mart that it would be a nice treat for me and the kids to be able to stay in the toy department for the whole time and not have to worry about grocery shopping. Ha. Think again.

I decided to enter Wal-Mart through the lawn and garden door so I could glance through the flowers on our way in. After about 5 minutes of that I knew the kids were getting restless so we went on to the toys and I let both kids out of the buggy. Bad idea. Malachi had every Barbie doll on the shelves in the floor within 1.3 seconds and Kari was sprawled out in the floor with a Barbie laptop in front of her, a big pink bouncy ball beside her and various Princess paraphernalia on the other side. This lady was shopping for Barbie dolls beside us and Kari decided to engage in conversation with her. Within 2 minutes we knew her name, the correct spelling of her name, what she was doing at Wal-Mart and pretty much her life history. I mean, really.
Malachi would knock stuff off the shelves and just throw his head back and really was funny despite the fact that I had to reorganize all their shelves in each aisle. The night shift employees will probably thank me for that. :)

After we had enough of the toys, we walked back to the flowers for another attempt at choosing a few hanging baskets. We passed an elderly man pushing a buggy and this is the conversation that ensued between him and Kari:

Kari:What's you name? My name's Kawi.
Man: Tim.
Kari: I spell my name k-a-r-i n-o-e. How do you spell yours?
Man: T-i-m.
Kari: Nice to meet you, Tim. What you doin?
Man: Just loafing while I wait on my medicine.
Kari: *Giggle* Oh. Tim. Tim Loafin'. *more giggles*
Man: Well, it was nice to meet you, Kari. Hope you have a good evening.
Kari: Hope you have a good evenin' too, Tim Loafin'.

This child doesn't meet strangers it seems. Malachi was getting restless at this point so we moved on to look at the swimming pools. Malachi chose that moment to start squealing in an attempt to bust the eardrums of everyone within a 5 mile radius. I am not kidding when I say this next statement. The employee that was tending to the flowers turns around and starts staring at Malachi WITH HIS MOUTH WIDE OPEN. As if to say "Is it possible that there are ONE YEAR OLDS that actually act like that?"
If that wasn't bad enough, Kari figures she could clear the water between Malachi and the flower waterer and attempts to strike up a conversation with him.
Just let me say it. ARGH!!!
Needless to say, I didn't get ANY flowers, promptly paid for diapers and Kari's big pink bouncy ball and got outta there!!

Does anyone ever have these experiences besides me? I'd like to hear some of them. I sometimes feel that I'm the only one who has either a. a horrifying experience b. an embarrassing experience c. a hilarious experience or d. an I-will-never-take-these-kids-anywhere-again experience. Usually I can laugh at all of the said experiences at some point but there have been times when I've got in my vehicle and cried. But those have been rare, thank the Lord!

So, what's your most memorable Wal-Mart experience? For those of you that read my blog, I LOVE LOVE LOVE reading your thoughts and comments about my posts. You've been slacking. :)


  1. I don't have any Walmart experiences... yet:)

  2. Hm...well I have at last trained mine to hold onto the buggy and walk alongside it while I shop. But mine are much older than yours! We have a 'talk' before we go in about what we are going to buy and what we are NOT and what they are NOT to ask for. I remember when my son was about two years old, we had a few crazy WM experiences. One time, I was standing in at the register, and reading a magazine while I waited. A few seconds later, I looked up and Elijah had got ahold of the shaving cream and was COVERED in lather from head to toe! LOL...I thought he couldn't get into stuff in the buggy but I learned my lesson :).

  3. Let's see... should I mention our Wal-Mart experience from yesterday when Ava screamed for a full 20 minutes because I put the Great Value gummies in the buggy and not the My Little Pony ones? How about the numerous occasions when Ava has refused to sit down in the buggy because she wanted to walk, so I stand there patiently waiting in silence while onlookers gaze at me like I'm an idiot? Oh yeah, what about the gazillion times Ava has thrown a tantrum in the most crowded parts of the store and nearly fell out of the buggy from flopping around like a fish (making me look like the world's worst mother!)? People probably look at me and wonder why I can't control my child! I had a teacher in a Child Development class that explained that in these situations, all you can do is walk away... so all of those times you run into a buggy that's packed full of groceries and other things, but has no one around it, you know that has been a Mommy with little ones! =)

  4. Hi Ashley, this is Lacey (Smith!) I so enjoy reading your blog! The part about "Tim Loafin'" made me literally burst out laughing! I totally sympathize with you on those harrowing moments..Hats off to you!! I'm babysitting a 4 year old and a 16 month old and can only imagine what it would be like if I had to take them to a store! They're sweet and well-behaved, but as kids do, get a little hyper and have meltdowns sometimes! Keep your head held high and just think that they will behave better in public the older they become! (And the on-lookers should understand that as well.) You are a fantastic mom and I admire you!!!

  5. Ashlee,
    Thanks for the laugh! I know your WM trip was stressful for you, but it gave us a good laugh! Thanks for sharing!!


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